Here’s the deal. My top ten lists are probably the best on the internet. (At minimum, they’re top ten). Don’t believe it? Just ask me. Yeah, that’s right – they’re the best. Not only is the content awesome, but each top ten list goes to eleven. Why? For one, I’m not a big fan of the number ten, for two – you deserve it, for three through eleven…that’s another list.
But today I bring you the…
Top Ten Musical Questions – Asked and Answered
11. “Is she really going out with him?” Yes.
10. “Y’all ready for this?” No.
9. “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?” They don’t. It’s a false correlation. What’s happening here is that you’re perceiving a relationship between the presence of birds and my proximity to you that simply doesn’t exist. There are, in fact, always birds around. Go ahead, take a look. They’re there. When you see me, you notice the birds because of this association you’ve formed in your mind. But I don’t make the birds appear.
8. “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” Real life.
7. “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” Everybody.
6. “Does anybody really know what time it is?” Most people. Most people know.
“Does anybody really care?” Sure. People with appointments, for example.
5. “Who let the dogs out?” I’m pretty sure it was Larry. And I specifically told him not to.
4. “Why don’t we do it in the road?” Seriously? That’s literally one of the worst places we could do it. Very, very dangerous.
3. “Can’t you smell that smell?” Dude. Not cool.
2. “If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?” I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.
1. “How long must we sing this song?” I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. You’re free to wrap it up anytime you like.