Here’s the deal. As of February 3rd, this blog has received 2,313 comments…2,312 of which were submitted pre 2014. Clearly something needs to be done to remedy the situation. If this is going to be the year of super terrific fun time greatness for this blog, we are going to have to regain our former comment activity.
So I did a little research. There are a number of proven methods for increasing blog comments, and that number is seven. (All of which appear in convenient numerical order below). That’s right, rather than choosing one or two comment creating ideas as most people suggested, I am going to utilize all of them in this very blog post to maximize comment potential. In a historic, unprecedented internet move, I am crossing the streams and turning it up to eleven with this post – if there’s a way to get readers to comment, it’s going to appear below and no one will be immune…in all likelihood you’re already feeling the need to comment. That’s right, give in. It’s okay. All the cool kids are doing it. And you can comment as much as you darn well please. If anything below gets your ire up, sparks a thought, or compels you to lend a helping hand, this is your chance, let your voice be heard. Let’s do this thing. Let the comment-inducing tactics commence…
(1) Be controversial/Attack someone. Finnish people smell of cauliflower! Your aunt Linda is a bore! Poodles are ridiculous!
(2) Ask for help. Can somebody please tell me how to prepare a mint-infused bran muffin? What’s the best way to prepare for two thirds of a triathlon? How can I keep squirrels out of my kitchen?
(3) Be Unexpected. Sometimes I wear my socks in the shower. My favorite Jonas brother is Geraldo. 2 + 3 = 8.
(4) Take a Stand. Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods was the best movie of the year. Greatest invention of the twentieth century…Pez. Su Lin the giant panda for president!
(5) Make a Mistake for Readers to Correct. As everyone reading this probably already knows, the War of 1812 lasted over three years. Neptune, the seventh farthest planet from the sun, is a gas giant composed primarily of nitrogen and hydrogen. Pauly Shore is a fine actor.
(6) Ask a Question. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Where have all the cowboys gone?
(7) Add Links. Click here for a recipe for chocolate, mint, oat bran muffins. Check out this entertaining and informative BBC article on the exporting of Chinese giant pandas to U.S. zoos. And here’s a great article about how not to smell like cauliflower (are you paying attention, Finns?)
Okay, ball’s in your court…