Vs. Blog Comment Spam…Round Four

Posted: December 14, 2012 in Internet
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal. After an extended break from my normal versus content, it sure felt swell to stretch my legs earlier this week and tear the twelve days of Christmas a new one. And while I may have temporarily lost that lovin’ feelin’, I’m righteously finding it again by keeping my pedal to the metal and taking on an old friend – blog comment spam.

If you don’t have a blog (and recent studies indicate that nearly 18% of the world’s population still fails to write their daily thoughts for all to see on a web log), then you don’t get to experience the wonder of wildly unusual and terribly written spam clumsily disguised as a reader’s comment. So here’s a little taste of some of the spam I’ve received in the past few weeks…

1.       “I’m gone to convey my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this blog on regular basis to keep updated from hottest news update.”

Genuinely touching. I’m considering changing the name of my blog to, “Makya McBee’s Hottest News Updates Updated Daily With Hot New News Updates.

2.      “Consuming cannabis has different effects on different people, and things like organs, the heart, lungs, kidney and even your brain. Then a perfect example comes along fact to the avoid with grains Sensi est l’endroit parfait pour tre. The actuality is there is no way in heck American pot digital people going pipes. The truth of the matter is that weed, regardless of once cannabis Cannabis around with that there is help that has been proven effective.”

So many questions. What exactly are “things like organs”? Why did the comment suddenly, albeit briefly, switch to French? What in the heck are American pot digital people going to do about this situation? And since when have spambots been able to get high?

3.      “bfrgsadghbrghasgd, online casino, werfdeghjasbc, online casino, tggehfgbsacvnbwdf, online casino”

Okay, this guy’s not even trying. Where’s the dance? The slow back and forth of you pretending to be an actual person and not just a poorly designed computer program? It hurts my feelings that you’re not even trying.

Bsfdlignkdd, joke about spam, wefulsahdfe, joke about spam, tggefaddkjaysbjisd, joke about spam.

4.      “Undertake these guidelines with the excellent it, more on help night’s cure nasal difficulties.”

Is it just me, or would The Excellent It be a fabulous name for a band?

Winston Churchill in Downing Street giving his...
Winston Churchill’s famous “V” for “You own got to have victory” sign.

5.      “I acquire recently started a blog, the intelligence you fend on this website has helped me greatly. Acknowledges for total of your phase & process. “We are doing our superior. You own got to thrive in doing what is unavoidably,” by Sir Winston Churchill.

One of Churchill’s lesser known quotes. But in my ongoing attempt to fend intelligence, allow me to share one of my favorite quotes of all time. I believe it was JFK who said, “You own got to ask not what your country can do for you. You own got to ask what you own can do for you own country.”

6.       “Frogs don’t need dresses. Each of them has a different dress. Blue, red, yellow…in different colors.”

It’s hard to argue with the facts. The truth of the matter is he’s right…frogs don’t need dresses. Due in no small part to the fact that each of them already has a dress. Some of these dresses are blue. Some are red. Some are yellow. And blue, red and yellow are completely different colors.

7. “My family all time say that I am wasting my time here at net, however I know I am getting know-how every day by reading these nice content.”

Funny…my family all time say that I am wasting my time by replying to spambots.

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Comments
  1. I’m assuming auto-correct switched a word. Replace “cannabis” with “cannibal,” and suddenly it makes more sense. I can’t explain the French, though.

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