It’s a Comment Contest! (And it has nothing to do with bananas)

Posted: November 18, 2012 in Contest
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal. In my lifelong effort to get more blog comments I am proud to present the first ever Makya McBee Vs. Comment Contest Extravaganza Super Fun Time!

Before I announce the contest, I am proud to report that I received a number of lovely comments from my previous post in which I shamelessly begged people to give me a number of lovely comments. I must admit, however, that I was somewhat surprised to see how many of the comments were focused on the issue of bananas. To quote Gwen Stefani, “This sh#* is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”

Allow me to quickly address some of the excellent points raised by my readers last week…

I was frankly expecting more content about bananas. Are you planning a follow up post to address this issue?”

No.

“I was hoping to glean a little insight into your love or hate of bananas. Could you elaborate on your feelings toward the banana…I might one day like to send a fruit basket and I’d like to know if I should include or exclude bananas.”

I don’t know who decided that baskets filled with fruit are the ultimate gift. I can think of so many things I would prefer to have in my basket. A cash basket. A pizza basket. An Alyssa Milano basket (what? I grew up with Who’s The Boss and matured into those years of young manhood just as she was blossoming into an effervescent, nubile woman…so sue me). You know what…yeah, just include the bananas.

“You need to elaborate on your feelings toward bananas.”

No. No I don’t.

“I have discovered that in the absence of a knife and in the presence of a banana that bends instead of breaking at the stem, tearing the banana open from the bottom works just fine. I have since observed that this is also how apes regularly open bananas.”

Perhaps you should spend less time observing apes and more time shopping for cutlery.

English: SCB Bananas

This picture is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

 

 

Okay, now that we’ve taken care of the banana issues let’s get on with the contest.

1. Eligibility – The contest is open to all U.S. residents age 18 and older. (Also, it’s open to all non-U.S. residents age 17 and younger).

2. Contest Period – The Contest begins on November 18th, 2012 at 12:01 am Pacific Time and ends on November 25th, 2012 at 3:27 pm Pacific Time. (All dates, times, and really everything I’m typing is subject to change).

3. How to Enter – No purchase necessary to enter or win. But, if you think about it, you need to buy a computer or a cell phone to be able to access the internet and see this blog. Unless you go to the library. But you need to buy a car or bike to get to the library. Unless you walk. But you’ll need some shoes. So you do have to buy shoes to enter and win this contest, but other than that just do whatever you want.

Oh, yeah, how to enter the contest. Just, you know, leave a comment to this blog post.

4. Judging – All comments will be judged on the following criteria: originality, cleverness, creativity, freshness, imaginativeness, ingeniousness, innovation, inventiveness, newness, novelty, unconventionality, unorthodoxy, and use of synonmys. Additionally, comments will be judged on length, girth, font coolness, ability to incorporate the word parsley far more often than is reasonable, misuse of adverbs, and the swimsuit competition.

5. Prizes – One (1) grand prize winner will receive their choice of (a) An old California Pizza Kitchen gift card that I forgot I had that still has a balance of $3.92, (b) A personalized limerick or (c) Whatever is behind Door Number Three. Two hundred and fifty (250) second place prize winners will win absolutely nothing.

Good luck and please stop asking me about bananas.

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Comments
  1. Wait. Is this a comment contest or a comma contest? I think I missed that part. I am a fan of the Oxford comma, perhaps its biggest fan. If ever I were to see the Oxford comma on the street, I would scream, cheer, faint, and ask a friend to take our picture together. I love that sexy Oxford comma, even though it seems to separate us rather than bring us together.

    Oxford comma RULES! There. Do I win?

  2. suzpain says:

    Have you ever tried parsley on your pizza? If not you might want to rethink giving away that gift card

  3. What kind of limes does Rick have, and how does he personalize them? Just wondering, because I may not go to the trouble if they are KeyLimes. I just really don’t like them, they are too tart for my taste. I’ve never had them on pizza before, though, except on fruit pizza. And you know, I think there were bananas on the fruit pizza too! Excellent!

  4. I never win anything…ever.

  5. dandelionmom says:

    So I’m thinking, Chool! A comment contest! I could totally rock that! I often get very commenty in a completely awesome way. But, as I sit here trying to come up with a synonym for parsley I begin to question my confidence. Then I realize that the whole contest is about you and not me at all…further dropping my intrrest. Although if I feed your ego enough I could still win without mentioning parsley at all. But I have a feeling that feeding your ego would be an enormous task and I could maybe spend that time feeding myself some bacon…yeah I can’t lose with bacon! Although a custom limerick with my name and a star trek theme would have been nearly as good. Parsley.

  6. Karen Hayes says:

    You know that if it is a competition…I’m in! It didn’t say anything in the rules exempting relatives from winning, so if you expect me to keep the spare bedroom ready for you, perhaps your favorite aunt should be the grand prize winner.

  7. heather1 says:

    Oh…it has everything to do with bananas…everything…and parsley or as I’d like to refer to it as garden parsley (Petroselinum crispum). It is a species of Petroselinum in the family Apiaceae, native to the central Mediterranean region (southern Italy, Algeria and Tunisia), naturalized elsewhere in Europe, and widely cultivated as an herb, a spice and a vegetable. Garden parsley is a bright green, hairless, biennial, herbaceous plant in temperate climates, or an annual herb in subtropical and tropical areas. Where it grows as a biennial, in the first year, it forms a rosette of tripinnate leaves 10–25 cm long with numerous 1–3 cm leaflets, and a taproot used as a food store over the winter. In the second year, it grows a flowering stem to 75 cm tall with sparser leaves and flat-topped 3–10 cm diameter umbels with numerous 2 mm diameter yellow to yellowish-green flowers. The seeds are ovoid, 2–3mm long, with prominent style remnants at the apex. One of the compounds of the essential oil is apiol. The plant normally dies after seed maturation. Another type of parsley is grown as a root vegetable, the Hamburg root parsley (P. crispum radicosum group, syn. P. crispum var. tuberosum). This type of parsley produces much thicker roots than types cultivated for their leaves. Although seldom used in Britain and the United States, root parsley is very common in central and eastern European cuisine, where it is used in soups and stews.
    Though root parsley looks similar to the parsnip, it tastes quite different. Parsnips are among the closest relatives of parsley in the family Apiaceae, but the similarity of the names is a coincidence, parsnip meaning “forked turnip”; it is not closely related to real turnips. The word “parsley” is a merger of the Old English petersilie (which is identical to the contemporary German word for parsley: Petersilie) and the Old French peresil, both derived from Medieval Latin petrosilium, from Latin petroselinum, the latinisation of the Greek πετροσέλινον (petroselinon), “rock-parsley”, from πέτρα (petra), “rock, stone”, σέλινον (selinon), “parsley”.

    So, it has everything to do with bananas…and parsley…and the misuse of adverbs. Never mind, I’m not sure what all of this means. If you need me, I’ll be in my dressing room preparing for the swimsuit competition. Oddly enough, I don’t have any font coolness today. I might not win. That is very suspiciously obnoxiouslyness.

  8. Jenny says:

    Here’s the deal, for a week now I’ve wanted to leave a comment on your contest blog.

    Don’t Judge Me was the comment I wanted to leave but I feared being misunderstood. I wanted to make you laugh but the risk of sounding crabby was a deal breaker. So, I am forced to write a comment, a spontaneous, sincere, true fan comment. I have read every blog post you have written and I have been greatly entertained by them all. I would say I have favorites like vs. Bananas, vs. Bed Bath & Beyond, vs. States With Boring Shapes and vs. Sea Lions but that seemed like it would diminish the genius of your other posts. All of them deserve consideration; after all, you bring up some very valid points that need our attention. The informational blogs are fun and who doesn’t like lists. So how am I going to do it? How am I going to encourage you to write without sucking up or sounding crabby? I think what I will do is remind you that you do indeed give your readers “A way to gently lower their aching bodies into the warm waters of my (make that “your”) prose”. Thank you for continuing this blog and thank you for inspiring another reader to educate the masses about parsley.
    As ever,
    Your Number One Fan

    • Makya McBee says:

      Cliche – While I appreciate your dedication to punctuation, I’m more of an ellipsis man myself…

      Ms. Pain – Repeat after me, “I shall put nothing green on my pizza.”

      Jennifer – Rick personalizes his limes with gold leaf embroidery. Nice guy too.

      Jenn – I never reply to comments about people who never win…whoops.

      DM – Yes, it’s all about me. The sooner we all accept this the better off we’ll all be.

      Karen – Yes, I should give it to my favorite aunt…now all I have to do is make a list of all of my aunts and put it to a vote. Kidding…get that spare bedroom ready, I’m on my way…

      Heather – Is it just me, or does it smell like cut and paste in here? But as you’re the only one prepping for the swimsuit competition I hereby declare you the winner.

      Jenny – “Don’t judge me.” I get it. Funny. While I have a slight allergy to being serious…I very much appreciate your comment. Very nice of you to say. Thanks.

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