Here’s the deal. Last week’s comment contest has left me overwhelmed, sorting through the hundreds dozens ones of entries. Let’s take a gander at some snippets…
Becoming cliché said, “If ever I were to see the Oxford comma on the street, I would scream, cheer, faint, and ask a friend to take our picture together.”
No doubt that’s a mighty fine comment. And I feel the same way…but about Enrique Iglesias. Although I would suggest changing your order to, “Scream, cheer, ask a friend to take our picture together, and faint.” The photo will look far less impressive if you’ve already gone limp.
Suz Pain asked, “Have you ever tried parsley on your pizza?”
A delicious comment that directly engages me with an in-depth query – kudos. May all your pizza be parsley free.
Jennifer offered, “I just really don’t like…pizza…except on…pizza…you know, I think…pizza too!
Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I took out a bunch of words and her comment no longer makes sense. But I’m still diggin’ it big time.
Jenn lamented, “I never win anything…ever.”
A sad little comment designed to elicit the sympathy vote…and it just might work…
Dandelion Mom raved, “A comment contest! I could totally rock that! I often get very commenty in a completely awesome way.”
Oh yes, she rocked it. Rocked it like a dandelion.
Karen suggested, “Perhaps your favorite aunt should be the grand prize winner.”
Listen, nobody respects nepotism more than somebody trying to break into the entertainment industry…but can I really give the prize to a family member? Why not? It’s my freakin’ blog.
Heather commented thusly, “Although seldom used in Britain and the United States, root parsley is very common in central and eastern European cuisine, where it is used in soups and stews.”
A fine, educated comment if ever I’ve seen one. Sometimes the best answers are to questions no one ever asked. Could be a winner…
Jenny observed, “I have read every blog post you have written and I have been greatly entertained by them all. I would say I have favorites…but that seemed like it would diminish the genius of your other posts.”
Now we’re talking. The way to a man’s heart is through his ego. This one’s going to be tough to beat.
You can see my problem.
As I waded through the very tiny pile of entries I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Why is it that 37.5% of the entrants are named Jennifer, Jenn or Jenny? Why aren’t more of them named Ralph?” And, secondly, “Why are so many people still mentioning bananas. I specifically told them that this was not about bananas.” Then, thirdly, “How in the gosh darned heck am I going to choose a winner from this group of winners?”
Well…problem solved. I have decided to reward all eight entrants with a personalized limerick. If you are one of the entrants and would like to email me your actual name or any details (job, hobby, favorite medieval instrument other than the lute, etc.) you would like me to try and incorporate into your limerick please feel free to do so any time this week – firstname.lastname@example.org. Otherwise, I’ll just use your screen name, comment, and the blogger’s secret weapon – making stuff up. And next week I’ll be posting all eight limericks in a Makya McBee Vs. Comment Contest Limerick Winnerspalooza!
Wait, wait, I know what you’re thinking, “What about the $3.92 gift card to California Pizza Kitchen?” That, my lovely friends, goes to the first person to show up at my front door.
On your mark…get set…banana.