Here’s the deal. Maybe the Mayans were right. Perhaps this is our last year. Things certainly seem to be going downhill.

Everyone knows what happened in Colorado. And, despite the fact that this lunatic amassed a military arsenal that no individual human could ever claim to need unless they were Arnold Schwarzenegger retrieving Alyssa Milano from a group of South American mercenaries, conservatives continues to insist that this is not the time to talk about gun control. Wow. This man had over 6,000 rounds of ammunition. And people are still arguing for the right to…I guess…go hunting and shoot 6,000 squirrels? Or defend your house from 6,000 burglars? I mean, there is no reasonable argument for the types of weaponry that’s legal for our citizens to purchase and shoot each other with. Many on the right will say, “He was deranged. He was going to hurt people regardless.” I think that’s almost certainly true, but perhaps it’s not a great reason to allow him to murder more effectively.

Maybe the Mayans were right.

And don’t start with that second amendment silliness. That was written at a time when it took forty five minutes to load a musket. If someone pointed a gun at you, you could just casually stroll away. And why do so many people assume that our founding fathers got everything right? Originally, the Declaration of Independence had an anti-slavery passage but it was removed because too many of our faultless founding fathers wanted to maintain their inalienable right to own people. They were just politicians with some good ideas and some bad ones. If you think they knew everything, then how do you explain the way they dressed? Satin breeches, silk stockings and powdered wigs…they looked freakin’ ridiculous.

Maybe the Mayans were right.

English: A series of Chick-fil-A trucks at the...

Mmmm…tastes like bigotry.

Meanwhile, crazy storms are conveniently alleviating much of the country of electricity, nations around the world are going bankrupt, politics has sunk to the level of playground name calling, Michele Bachmann is trying to resurrect McCarthyism, Chick-fil-A has inexplicably come out as the first openly anti-human rights fast food joint, and, worst of all, I don’t post on my blog for three weeks and it fails to effect my traffic. Yep, apparently I get just as many readers regardless of whether or not I create new content.

Maybe the Mayans were right.

So, I likely won’t be posting quite as often anymore. After all, much as it is in the bedroom, I’m just as popular when I do nothing. I feel like the Woody Harrelson character in 2012 – broadcasting important truths to a couple dozen people. I’m not a tormented artist. I don’t write because I have to. I write for an audience. So, to my seven loyal readers…I blame you…why didn’t you recruit a couple of thousand more followers each? What have you been doing? Hanging out at Chick-fil-A? Well, I’m sure you did your best. Anyway, I’m thinking of using my newfound spare time to go shopping for a new powdered wig. I think that look might just be coming back.

Maybe the Mayans were right.

Comments
  1. speaker7 says:

    I will take a good chunk of the responsibility. I’ve been too busy trying to recruit Michele Bachmann for some Chick-fil-A commercial spots that I haven’t had time to recruit readers. I will do it as soon as my power is restored.

  2. jud says:

    viewership is not growing? great post… i’ve passed it along to at least three (semi-close) friends.

  3. Suzanne says:

    I do so love you Makya. Even though Im a survivalist gun toting militant bitch who wants nothing more than to live my days out in a bunker surrounded by my arsenal…I see your point and respect it. When the shit hits the fan, I hope you can make it home to the Mts of Ol Virgini…i’ll leave the key to the bunker under the 14th rock on the left. Remember to bring canned goods when you approach. :)

  4. Jenny says:

    … well, crap. (I know how you enjoy my unorthodox use of ellipsis). I’ll still check in everyday.

  5. heathersnyder1 says:

    If this is our last year, then it would be nice to end it on a better note. No violence or crazy for the rest of the year people of the world.

    And, powdered wigs are a fashion faux pas. But, if the end of the world is coming up…eh…go for it.

  6. I would share it but I’m selfish and sharing goes against everything I hold dear.

  7. Josha says:

    I do what i can, on occasion, i have “shared” your blog posts on facebook two’s of times! if that’s not enough then maybe facebook is losing it’s power and maybe you are right in that maybe the mayans were right.

  8. Amelia says:

    Oh no! I just read for the first time and would definitely be interested in doing it again (particularly if the powdered wig thing pans out) so…keep at it? Also, you owe Josha some kind of super rainbow-loving, well accessorized chicken sandwich, because I totally clicked over here because of him.

    • Makya McBee says:

      Speaker – Yes, please get Bachmann on board, I’d love to court the crazy vote.

      Jud – Three? Excellent, I’m good to go. Bring on the Bloggy Awards.

      Suzanne – You’re correct to love me. I’ve got canned corn and peaches…but no can opener. I guess we can always just shoot the cans open.

      Jenny – …Everyday? I can’t take that kind of pressure. Maybe I’ll just go back and add unusual punctuation to my old posts every day so you have something to do.

      Heather – Yeah, the end of the world is a great opportunity to wear all those costumes you never dared…powdered wigs and stockings here I come.

      Hop on Pop (Toe) – I can appreciate such a strict value system. Thanks for sharing.

      Josha – Nice. Between you and Jud, I’ll have sixes of new readers. Many thanks.

      Ms. Bedelia – Always nice to welcome a new reader. Once every six months, like clockwork. I owe Josha everthing (which, I suppose must include such a sandwich).

  9. The Mayans were wrong. If I hit refresh 1000 times to boost your page count, will you post again soon?

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