Vs. The Dolts Sitting Behind Me Talking During the Movie

Posted: June 24, 2012 in Hollywood
Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s the deal. Don’t talk during the movie.

That’s it.

Don’t. Talk. During. The movie.

If you want to talk go…anywhere other than a movie theater.

Open junior mints

And the winner is…

And these guys sitting behind me seemed absolutely oblivious to the fact that their wildly audible conversation might be a wee bit inconsiderate. How is this possible? Hey, morons, remember how you were talking and then you suddenly had to start talking louder? That was due to the fact that the previews had started and they were threatening to drown out your drivel. How about, rather than increasing the volume of your fascinating discussion on the merits of Junior Mints vs. Twizzlers, you shut the hell up?

Despite your sophomoric guffaws, I can assure you that what you are saying is neither amusing nor interesting. And your blatant disregard for basic etiquette makes me wish the theater sold muzzles next to the Kit Kats. If I weren’t as confrontational as a baby bunny rabbit, I’d stand up, turn around and insist that you take the world’s loudest, rudest and most boring chat out into the parking lot. And if I weren’t allergic to pain, I’d pull a double Van Gogh on myself and put an end to the misery of having to listen to you idiots.   

I’m not suggesting that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is going to win any Oscars, but I paid twelve bucks to listen to the movie’s dialogue…not yours.

  1. speaker7 says:

    Yes. This is something that also perplexes me. I also don’t like going to concerts and listening to the person next to me tunelessly screech the lyrics along with the lead singer.

  2. heathersnyder1 says:

    I watched the Taylor Lautner movie with a young couple seated behind me talking through the movie. The guy would ask the girlfriend, “Do you think he’s hot? You think he’s hot don’t you?”. She would repeatedly say, “No, he’s not hot, you think the girl in the movie is hot, don’t you?”. I can’t remember what made me walk out, the horrible movie or the interrogation going on behind me.

  3. heathersnyder1 says:

    And, Strawberry Twizzlers wins hands down, no Junior Mints are the awesomest!!! No, yeah, definitely Twizzlers. Wait, I change my mind.

  4. jefferree says:

    AMEN!!!! Talking-during-the-movie-(and-even-the-previews) people ARE SOME OF THE MOST ANNOYING HUMANS ON EARTH!! (Them, and the ones who throw any type of garbage out their car windows!) Isn’t there a country someplace where these lame-oids can be sent until they learn some manners?!?

  5. I feel for you. What were they thinking? Twizzlers HAVE no merits. Period.

  6. Jenny says:

    …enjoyed your rant.

    • Makya McBee says:

      Speaker – You know what’s even worse? When you stay home and the voices in your head just won’t stop bothering you. Is there no peace?

      Heather – You had me at “I watched the Taylor Lautner movie…” Oh, whoops, I mean you lost me at “I watched the Taylor Lautner movie.”

      Jjjjeffery – Yes, there is a country where we can send those losers. It’s called America.

      Cliche – Sing it, sister. Mints rule, Twizzlers drool.

      Jenny – …enjoyed your unorthodox use of ellipsis.

      • heathersnyder1 says:

        Really…I can explain, honest…no, I really can’t explain why I was at a Taylor Lautner movie.

  7. doodlinggal says:

    I know what you mean! I rarely go out to movies for that reason only. I took my brother to see something a long time ago (Young Frankenstein I think) because I knew he’d think it was a hoot. Unfortunately the guy sitting behind us kept saying the funny lines before the actors. I’m kind of like you in the confrontation department and that is why I love to draw…it’s one way of getting even! Thanks for the like on my post “puppy le pew”.

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