Here’s the deal. Don’t talk during the movie.
Don’t. Talk. During. The movie.
If you want to talk go…anywhere other than a movie theater.
And these guys sitting behind me seemed absolutely oblivious to the fact that their wildly audible conversation might be a wee bit inconsiderate. How is this possible? Hey, morons, remember how you were talking and then you suddenly had to start talking louder? That was due to the fact that the previews had started and they were threatening to drown out your drivel. How about, rather than increasing the volume of your fascinating discussion on the merits of Junior Mints vs. Twizzlers, you shut the hell up?
Despite your sophomoric guffaws, I can assure you that what you are saying is neither amusing nor interesting. And your blatant disregard for basic etiquette makes me wish the theater sold muzzles next to the Kit Kats. If I weren’t as confrontational as a baby bunny rabbit, I’d stand up, turn around and insist that you take the world’s loudest, rudest and most boring chat out into the parking lot. And if I weren’t allergic to pain, I’d pull a double Van Gogh on myself and put an end to the misery of having to listen to you idiots.
I’m not suggesting that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is going to win any Oscars, but I paid twelve bucks to listen to the movie’s dialogue…not yours.