Here’s the deal. I give up. Karma is a no go. I’ve had a number of career and other opportunities this past month and not a one has come to fruition. I’ve had much more disappointment in my life since I started trying to be positive. And yesterday was the last straw…another Bed, Bath & Beyond catalog arrived in the mail.
Back when this blog was just a toddler, I twice versused the folks at Bed, Bath & Beyond (here and here) because of their useless products. And yet they continue to taunt me with their high-production value, full-color catalogs. If that’s how you want it, triple B, I’m game. If the world wants me to revert to complaining about what’s wrong with it…who am I to say no?
It’s versus time.
Let’s start with this lovely product – the Kan Jam.
They call it “the ultimate disk game.” I call it some guy throwing his Frisbee away. Seriously, this is forty bucks for a cheap, plastic trash can. This isn’t a game, it’s taking out the garbage. I wonder if they make specialized trash cans where I can discard the other items I buy at their store.
Next, let’s take a look at this gem, it’s Fridge Binz!
These plastic trays are designed to “maximize refrigerator space.” Yes, just imagine trying to store those six yogurt containers without the bin…it would take up the exact same amount of space…minus, of course, the space taken up by the bin itself. Explain again how something that takes up additional space is going to save you space? Just look at the picture. This product is truly and absolutely serving no purpose whatsoever. Buy Fridge Binz! – It will…sit there.
And, for just $8.99, you can head on down to Bed and the other two and pick yourself up a nice, new “fingertip towel.” If you’re like me, every time you finish drying your hands you’re overcome with frustration at how you simply can’t get your fingertips dry. Sure my palms are arid as a desert, but my fingertips are dripping wet! The new fingertip towel, it’s like a hand towel, only smaller, and much more useless.
Oh, no, not this, it’s a hanging flip flop organizer.
Who has this many pairs of flip flops? Who?!? Nobody. NOBODY needs a different pair of flip flops for each day of the week. Even if there were a flip flop ambassador, he could get away with, say, three pairs. Imelda Marcos owned nearly three thousand pairs of shoes and she didn’t have this many flip flops. If you have so many pairs of flip flops that they need to be organized…then you are fictional. Nobody likes flip flops this much. It’s not human. I believe the invention of the hanging flip flop organizer is the first sign of the Apocalypse.
Look, if you want to make bed products. Pillows and sheets and what not. Go ahead. If you want to make bath products. Soap and shower curtains and the like. Fine. But enough’s enough with the Beyond. This stuff is beyond useless. It’s beyond ridiculous. Please rename your store Bed, Bath & That’s It.
I’m back, baby.