My Coconut Mango Scented Candle Smells Freaking Awesome

Posted: March 23, 2012 in Odds and Ends
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal. My coconut mango scented candle smells freaking awesome.

Candles, of course, have been popular for a long time. According to Wikipedia, “the earliest known candles were made…during the Qin Dynasty.” Also according to Wikipedia, the Qin Dynasty is “the first imperial dynasty of China, lasting from 221 to 207 BC.” Wikipedia goes on to note that China is “the world’s most populous country, with a population of over 1.3 billion,” and that a dynasty is “an American prime time television soap opera that aired on ABC from January 12, 1981 to October 22, 1991.”

And, as best I can determine, Wikipedia is a website wherein one can enter into an “infinite definition loop.” Where one can look up “the history of candle making” at 10:24 pm and then look up at the clock five minutes later only to discover that it is ten minutes to midnight.  

My point is – my coconut mango scented candle smells freaking awesome.

I think the key is that the word coconut comes first. That is, that the aroma produced by burning said candle smells mostly of coconut and only slightly of mango. Were the reverse true, I’m quite certain this very post would never have been written.

Mango doesn’t smell that good.

1942 photograph of Carpenter at work on Dougla...

This is not what I look like.

I know what you’re thinking, “Makya, we had you pegged as a real manly man. Why do you own a coconut mango scented candle?” Come on, it’s 2012…do we really still think that buying scented candles and dressing up in silk lingerie and getting regular Pap smears are all unmanly activities? Hello? Evolve much?

Okay, fine, perhaps I’m not the ultimate symbol of macho. I’m not tough. I don’t like to get my hands dirty. And I’ve never punched anyone in my life. If a situation arose in which the likelihood of me either (a) having to punch someone or (b) getting punched arose, I would run to my nearest multiplex and take in a nice romantic comedy. (And I’d cry when they got together at the end. Alright? Are you happy now?)

Then again, I’m no metrosexual either. I don’t particularly like to shop. I’m never gotten a manicure. And I’m certainly not the sharpest dresser. But none of that really matters because my coconut mango scented candle smells freaking awesome.

It’s burning as I write these very words.

And, as even the least-educated among us know, the olfactory cortex is embedded within the brain’s limbic system and amygdala, where emotions are born and emotional memories stored. Thus, one’s sense of smell is inherently linked to one’s memories. No doubt we’ve all experienced a particularly specific aroma that immediately transported us to the past and evoked vibrant images. And thus it will be with me in the future. Every time I light this candle, I’ll be whisked back to the magical moment where I confessed to anyone with an internet connection the fact that I am an unmanly, weeping coward who schedules medical procedures only necessary for women. It may not be the ideal memory. But at least it will be accompanied by my coconut mango scented candle.

Which smells freaking awesome.

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Comments
  1. speaker7 says:

    I looked up “awesome” in Wikipedia and it directed me to this post. Everything has come full circle and now the world may peacefully end.

  2. You’ve never had a manicure? And you call yourself a man…

    • Makya McBee says:

      Speaker – I never intended for this blog to be responsible for the end of the world. But I did mean for it to be awesome. Oh well, win some lose some.

      Cliche – Yeah, we shouldn’t use such gender-specific language…it should be called a humanicure.

  3. Lokyra Stone says:

    My da got a clear polish manicure when he was in Puerto Rico. Back when he was in the navy. Pretty much all the sailors did. Most of them were very manly.

    We could also call it a homocure, but that leads to all sorts of awkward situations.

  4. reggie says:

    great point about aromas having the ability to transport. aromas can evoke certain feelings, images, places, memories, and much more.

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