Maximizing Google Results by Minimizing the Competition

Posted: January 20, 2012 in Internet
Tags: , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  For the past ten months, my posts have stood alone.  But a storyline has recently emerged.  Today, I am not versusing anything.  I am following up on my previous two posts.  After calling upon internet users everywhere to spread this blog to the four corners of the world, I did my best to increase readership by tagging the most popular Google searches of 2011.  But there’s a problem.

Yes, Rebecca Black was the most Googled term in 2011.  And, as a result, searching for her will provide you with 124,000,000 hits.  And, surprisingly, my blog does not show up on the first page.  It does not, I suspect, show up on the first hundred thousand pages.  Therefore, my last post is doing me no favors.  No one’s going to be able to wade through the tens of millions of pages to find me.  I couldn’t do it…and I’m more interested in me than anyone I know.

An Acer laptop computer.

You can use one of these to comment.

So, how are people finding me?  Luckily, WordPress provides a daily synopsis of which search terms lead people to my blog.  I get almost daily results from, “Referring to yourself in the third person.”  Just yesterday, someone happened upon my post ranking crayon colors by searching for, “What is the number one caryon coloer.”  And last week, I notched another view from someone searching for, “Sexy brawny man.”

Here’s what I’ve learned.  People love their pronouns.  You don’t have to be an above average speller to find what you’re looking for on the internet.  And, even though “sexy brawny man” has nearly two million hits, I’m on the very first page of results because my post didn’t just randomly use the words, “sexy,” “brawny,” and “man.”  I spoke to the actual sexiness of the Brawny Man.  And I stand by my work.

Clearly, I need to adjust my strategy.  Nobody is going to find my blog while looking for the latest news on Rebecca Black (unless they search for the more specific, “Rebecca Black Justin Bieber iPhone,” in which case I’m the second site you’ll see).  So, I’ve got to switch it up a little.  I need to find things that fewer people are searching for, so that their only choice will be me.  For example, if we change the color from “Rebecca Black,” to “Rebecca Turquoise,” we go from over one hundred million hits…to 734. So, that will be one of my tags today.  One in seven hundred and thirty four isn’t bad odds.  But I think I can do better.

I need to find things that no one is searching for.  Then, when people do search for these things, my blog will be the only Google search result.

So, how am I going to do it?   How will I come up with terms that no one has ever searched for on Google?  I tried searching for, “Least searched word on Google.”  I got 117,000,00 results…not a one of which gave me the answer I was looking for.  So I open the question to you.  Please use the comments section to suggest the words or phrases that you think are under-represented on Google.  Then I can use these as tags and have a monopoly on these searches.  If you’ve been reading this blog and have never commented, here’s your chance.  I know you’re out there.  Don’t be shy.  I need you now more than ever.  If we work together, this can be a real game changer.  After we’re done, when people think of the things they’d never want to search for, when they think of the things that interest no one, when they think of the things nobody would want to examine further…they’ll think of me.

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Comments
  1. Haha I love checking what search terms got people to my blog, especially when it’s something that actually isn’t really related to what I posted. Someone got there by “pictures puppies in their crates at the airport” (I actually did write a post about being at the airport and my puppies in their crates but I find it interesting that someone actually searched that) so I imagine you could do a post on that. Someone also searched “german phrase for i am out of this”. I don’t know what that phrase is and didn’t write about it (though I did write about learning German). Oh and if you have a penchant for storage, two people got to my blog searching “20 gallon plastic totes”, which I did briefly mention and include a picture of in a post about moving but hey if there’s a small demand to read about them you could do the same lol. I’ve heard that it’s not just tags but the link that helps so say you decided to write about those things you could change the words in your permalink from the title of your post to your keywords (or include keywords in the title of your post, whichever).

  2. Kestrel Blue says:

    Well when my computer gets fixed and is back in my posetion, I must then blow up everyones news feeds with the link to this wonderful blog!

  3. Jenny says:

    Okay, I have given this a lot of thought today. In the hopes that this won’t take up the rest of my weekend I am prepared to share my top three list of things I thought no one would be searching for and be done with this madness.

    1) Dating for acne sufferers 58,000 results
    2) Hostile nuns 1,310,000 results
    3) Twisted carrot 2,670,000 results

    The results numbers just go up from there, which surprised me because I thought I had come up with a golden list. To round out my top ten, in descending order:

    putty knife
    pollution is favored
    Elvis sucks
    free gasoline
    perfect grammar
    kill puppies
    sophisticated American

    I hope this helps. At the very least it may get your own creative juices flowing on what people may not be interested in.

    Your Number One Fan (the mandatory ten days have passed)
    Jenny

  4. Brilliant! You’re pioneering a whole new approach to Search Engine Optimization. Why stop here though? You should build a brand new search engine that is specifically designed to find the stuff that no one is searching for. I bet if you went on Dragon’s Den with that idea you’d get big investment bucks. No need to thank me.

  5. Josha says:

    i have only two suggestions:
    here they are in order of one after the other:

    hippo baby teeth

    slothdog curiosities

    I think they would also both be very interest topics to read about.

    • Makya McBee says:

      Amanda – Links…permalinks…that sounds suspiciously like work. Are you trying to trick me into working Ms. P?

      Kestrel – Hurry computer fixers, hurry!

      Jenny – It’s always nice when a reader puts more thought into a post than I do. Kudos. I put two of yours together, and tried, “sophisticated carrot,” – only 1,630 results…

      Stephanie – You had me at, “Brilliant!” You then lost me at “You should build…” What do I look like, a builder of…things?

      Josha – If you were my brother, I’d say…nice job. Nice job.

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