Here’s the deal. If you don’t live in the United States of America, the United Kingdom, India, Canada, Philippines, Australia, Brazil, Sweden, Germany, United Arab Emirates, Netherlands, Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Colombia, Chile, Ecuador, Singapore, South Korea, New Zealand, Ghana, South Africa, Kenya, Botswana, or Nigeria…what’s your problem? According to WordPress, individuals from all of these countries have read my blog. And all of the other countries? Not so much.
Sure, one could argue that this is a success story. One could say that less than a year ago I started a blog and told my family and a couple of people I went to high school with and now I’m an international superstar. One could posit that my words reach round the globe and change the way we see our world. One could say that I’m handsome, funny, and Earth’s most eligible bachelor. But I gotta tell you, I’d really like to meet whoever is saying all this stuff.
The truth, however, is that I’ve barely scratched the surface. Depending on which random website you trust with all of your world facts, there are somewhere between 189 and 257 countries out there. (Why such disparity? Well, there’s some semantics involved…do you include territories? Colonies? Peru? And, also, it’s just simply difficult to count that high). That means that between 86.8 and 90.2% of all countries have yet to read my blog. We’ve still got a lot of work to do.
You see, most bloggers give fairly vague reasons for their blogs – they’re just putting random thoughts down, hoping to entertain a few friends, simply keeping an online journal. Not me. I’m here to get an audience. To better my chances of fame and worldwide domination. And it’s pretty hard to dominate a world that mostly doesn’t know you exist.
Here’s another way to look at it. It is estimated that around 1.5 billion people have internet access. Yesterday, forty-two people read my blog. What are the other 1,499,999,958 people doing online? According to Google, the most searched term yesterday was “school closings” followed by “peoples choice awards.” While I can understand the need to know whether or not your child will be heading to school on any given day (where, hopefully, they’ll learn that there’s an apostrophe in “People’s Choice Awards”), I’m a person too…why not choose me?
So, how am I going to do it? How will I get the other 200 plus countries to read this blog? Well, that’s where you come in. I currently have 176 followers, so all I need is for each one of you to pick one person you know who lives in one of the countries not listed above and tell them to read this blog. Or, even better, if each of you could simply tell 8,522,728 people about my blog, then every single person with internet access would be a reader. It’s just that simple. But we’ll start with the countries. A quick email to your buddy in Finland. Call up that distant cousin who lives in Belize. Send a text to that business associate in Zimbabwe. We can do this, people. Or, more accurately, you can do this, people.
It’s right there in this blog’s subtitle – “One Man Takes on the World.” I didn’t call it, “One Man Takes on 13.2% of the World” for a reason. And not just because that would be an oddly specific and terrible sounding subtitle. So let’s realize our geographic destiny together. Pick a country. Any country. And grab a butter knife. Cuz this blog ain’t gonna spread itself.