Vs. Unintentional Ponytails

Posted: January 1, 2012 in Odds and Ends
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  I haven’t had my hair cut since before I started this blog.  My hair is now long enough to pull back into a small, messy, two and a half inch pony tail.  An unintentional pony tail.  In college, I had a pony tail by design.  I had Fabioesque locks cascading off my shoulders like so many romance book covers.  I grew my hair out for one reason – my first girlfriend said she thought I would look good with long hair.  That was the whole thought process.  Pretty girl say long hair good.  Me grow long hair.

But what I have now is the beginning of an unplanned pony tail.  And it’s bad news.  Because the length of my hair is directly proportional to the quality of my life.  That is to say, I’ve had no reason to make myself look presentable as of late.  Not working for most of the second half of 2011 left me unmotivated and mostly unkempt.  And I don’t look good with this length of hair.  My hair doesn’t grow down…it grows out.  Like a Chia pet.  I am an unmotivated Chia pet.

The USS Enterprise - a well known fictional st...

Set phasers to beehive.

The upside is that my hair is unreasonably thick so, like the Starship Enterprise raising its shields, my bouffant provides an additional layer of protection.  Were someone to try and knock me unconscious with a baseball bat, the weapon would simply embed itself in my do…like a pencil lost in a bag of cotton candy.  The downside….I look like a freakin’ Chia pet.

So, how am I going to do it?   How will I turn it around?  How will I go from a year where my couch has become worn out from overuse to a year of activity and success?  How will I go from a year of struggling to find work to a year where I am an in-demand commodity?  How will I go from a year where every agent and manager ignores me to a year where my screenplays are the toast of the town?  How will I come to terms with the fact that nobody uses the phrase, “toast of the town” anymore?  I don’t know.  That’s a lot of questions.  But it’s a new year and anything is possible.  You’ve just got to believe.  And persevere.

That’s right, baby, it’s my year.

Nobody can stop me.

Tomorrow, I’m getting my hair cut.

  1. You really need to do a vs. Before & After haircut post. I don’t know how that would work but I’m sure if you pulled it off you’d be the toast of the town!

  2. heathersnyder1 says:

    Thank you for getting the Chia commercial song in my head. Cha cha cha Chia!

  3. You said, “like a pencil lost in a bag of cotton candy”-How did this happen?

  4. Lokyra Stone says:

    And in our cheesy horror movie, someone will try to kill a zombie with chia pet hair, but the instrument of doom will instead become embedded in said ‘do.

    Cha cha cha chia!
    I have an ex-bf/current friend with chia pet hair. It’s fun to watch it escape from hair ties. BORN FREEEEEEEE

  5. Crystal says:

    The Starship Enterprise, Chia Pets, Cotton Candy and Fabio sounds like a pretty wild mix. How did the new ‘do turn out?

    • Makya McBee says:

      Sister – Before and after, that’s much better than my previous plan to do an After and Even later after…I don’t know what I was thinking.

      Heather – You’re very welcome.

      Elizabeth – It didn’t happen. It was a simile. Let’s see…how can I explain similes? It’s like…

      Lokyra – It’s always an EX-boyfriend with Chia hair. Nobody ever has a current boyfriend with Chia hair. I wonder why.

      Crystal – It’s not often you can get a haircut and lose ten pounds. I had to wade through the lopped off hair on my way out of the salon.

      • Lokyra Stone says:

        Yeah, but I would date him again. So it’s like…. A Level 2 Ex. Much closer to a Current Boyfriend.

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