Here’s the deal. I love lists. I have an entire book shelf dedicated to books of lists. They bring order to a chaotic world. They allow us to pretend like we can organize the randomness that surrounds us. And they let us rank things. As my parents taught me growing up…there’s only one way to determine how good something is – by comparing it to other things. That’s why my mom and dad would post a new “Best Offspring” list daily, ranking the children in the house. My siblings and I would run downstairs each morning with uncontainable excitement. Like medical students in an 80’s movie rushing to see the newly posted grades, we’d jockey for position, pointing and gasping…and one of us would walk away happy.
Of course, none of that is true. Except for the part about me loving lists.
And blogs all over this internet are just covered in lists. Top ten this. My favorite that. The best thingamajig. The Coolest doodads. The Greatest whatchamacallits. It’s a great way to foster conversation and debate amongst the blog readers. And, while I enjoy reading them myself, I have one central problem – I rarely fully agree. Where are bloggers getting their information when they form these lists? They’re so often mistaken. Surely, something must be done.
So, how am I going to do it? How will I fix all of the incorrect lists on the internet? There’s really only one way. I’ll have to post some of my own lists. And for those of you who are thinking, “Hey, isn’t this just a way to step back from the whole point of this site and instead post lists of your favorite things? It sounds to us like you’re just fabricating an excuse to do something different. Isn’t this supposed to be a blog about things that bother you, not things that you like?” To those people I say, firstly – why are you so confrontational? And, secondly, why are you so remarkably accurate? Look, it’s just a blog. If, from time to time, I want to post a list, is it really hurting anybody? (Of course not, unless that list is, say, the top ten ways to hurt somebody). Perhaps it’s merely semantics, but by framing this as Makya McBee Vs. Other People’s Lists, I’ve found a loophole to my own premise and I can hardly be blamed for that (although, technically, I both created the original premise and then found the technicality in that very same premise…so I can’t imagine who else would be blamed…but as I’m also the one assessing the blame, I’m certainly not going to hold myself responsible…so, are we clear?)
So, when the mood strikes me, I’ll be posting lists in an effort to rectify the erroneous rankings currently scattered about the web. I’ll start with my list of the top ten movies with titles featuring character names from the movie (and while I’m supposed to be correcting other people’s lists, I’ve never actually seen anyone make this list…that’s how proactive I am). So, anyway, here it is. (By the way, my top ten lists are automatically better…because they go to eleven).
The Top Ten Movies with Character Names in The Title
11. The Hudsucker Proxy
9. Cool Hand Luke
8. Good Will Hunting
7. About Schmidt
6. The Truman Show
5. Mr. Holland’s Opus
4. Annie Hall
2. When Harry Met Sally
1. Jerry Maguire