Vs. 3D

Posted: July 5, 2011 in Hollywood
Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  Our movie theaters are overrun with 3D films.  Of course, we have James Cameron to thank for this.  I thought Avatar was good…just not biggest box office of all time good.  Since then, filmmakers everywhere decided that if they stuck a big 3D label on their movie that they too could make over two and a half billion dollars.  They were wrong. 

Let’s look at the numbers.  There have been more 3D movies released since 2005 than in the preceding fifty years.  And, as most of us already know, those 3D movie tickets are a lot more expensive (an average of eleven to twelve dollars across the nation…at my local theater a single 3D ticket costs $15.50). 

COOL 3D

Image via Wikipedia

Is the extra dimension worth the extra money?  No.  Look, my everyday life is in three dimensions, I look forward to relaxing with some nice two dimensional entertainment.  Call me old fashioned, but I’m much more interested in seeing a good story with characters I can care about than being able to put on a pair of cheap sunglasses and have it appear as though one of the characters is…oh my goodness…standing behind another character!

It’s just not that much different.  It’s not like we all got confused before the movies were shot in 3D. 

“Wait, what’s going on here?  On that flat movie screen it appears as though that man and that tree are in the same space.  Hmmm, matter, by definition, occupies space…and it is a basic tenet of physics that no two pieces of matter may occupy the same space at the same time.  What is this madness?  Is the man supposed to be in front of the tree?  It’s so hard to figure out when we’re vexingly limited to only two dimensions.  If only there were a better way.”

Step Up 3D

Image via Wikipedia

As one of my favorite filmmakers, Christopher Nolan put it, “I think it’s a misnomer to call it 3D versus 2D. The whole point of cinematic imagery is it’s three dimensional…You know 95% of our depth cues come from occlusion, resolution, color and so forth, so the idea of calling a 2D movie a ‘2D movie’ is a little misleading.”  Sure, I don’t really understand what he’s talking about, but I think it’s a point well made nonetheless (especially if you say it with a British accent, like he does).

The bottom line is this – does Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked really need to be made in 3D?  Of course not.  There’s a solid argument that it doesn’t need to be made at all, but that’s another topic.  And the fact that every other movie is in 3D is making it increasingly difficult to make these movies seem special.  I know because people pay me to try to sell these movies.  And there’s only so many times you can tell people that they’re seeing something “like nothing they’ve ever seen before” before they realize that they’ve seen things like this many times before. 

Some movies have resorted to sticking the 3D right into the title in the hope that it’ll boost ticket sales.  Take, for example, My Bloody Valentine Jonas Brothers Saw Piranha Jackass Step Up 3D – now that was one heck of a movie.  But it doesn’t matter if it’s 3D, Real D, Triple D, Vitamin D or Maitre D…I just want good movies.  I’d be willing to go down to 1D (whatever that would look like) if it meant valuing the screenplay over the eyewear. 

So, how am I going to do it?   How will I keep the extra D’s out of our theaters?  I think I’ll start a club for people who love two dimensional movies.  Maybe I’ll call it Rooty 2D Fresh and Fruity…or something that makes more sense.  Regardless of what we call it, it’ll be dedicated to preserving the lost art of non 3D filmmaking.  And I think each and every one of you should join – trust me, it will be like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

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Comments
  1. angelina says:

    I steer clear of 3D movies, not only because its expensive, but because of the simple fact it makes my many phobias come to life and jump off the screen. I could be sitting there minding my own business watching a good dino movie then all the sudden 3D bees jump off the screen and in to the audience where im sitting. Or im watching a movie about nature and spiders crawl off the screen and chase me down. No way i dont need my phobias hunting me down im fine with my movies in 2D.

  2. With my eyesight, I have a hard enough time focusing properly without the aid of those glasses–which I would have to put on over the top of my regular glasses! I wouldn’t be able to see the movie at all without my regular glasses!!!

  3. roxyhart1973 says:

    I was hoping to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie in 3D. That’s just me. Kidding! When are we going to start seeing holographic movies? That’s what I want to know.

    • Makya McBee says:

      Angelina – Another good point. Let’s keep our entertainment where it belongs – on the screen. Nobody wants the kids from Step Up doing the Robot in their lap.

      Elizabeth – Yes, it’s unfair to bespectacled movie-goers everywhere. You go girl.

      Roxy – Tigger might just be 3D worthy…after all, the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is that he’s the only one…

  4. Jennifer says:

    The up coming Ghostbusters should be in 3D. Just because, it’s the Ghostbusters and it’s the third movie. So, it would only make sense. Just kidding, I think the Ghostbusters 3 would be superb on it’s own, not having to go that route. I don’t like conforming to the belief that every movie coming out now should be in 3D. It even sounds like the new 3D TV’s that companies are coming out with sound very complicated to set up.

  5. heathersnyder1 says:

    You should see the 4D movies, like in Walt Disney World. You watch the movie in 3D and they have special effects like when the characters throw confetti in the movie, confetti will actually fall from the ceilings. The seats will move like someone is pushing up against your chair. Then they have a part where a character sneezes or sprays water in the film, and water will actually shoot out into the audience. Almost like someone is spitting on you. Or, maybe I really did get spit on and it’s not a special effect. Not sure.

    • Makya McBee says:

      I’ve seen the 4D Shrek movie at Universal – a company is now adding smells as well. This could ruin a lot of movies (insert bad smelling movie joke here).

  6. Somehow when I get the 3D glasses, I always get the bum lens. It never works correctly. It makes me sad.

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