Here’s the deal. If you’re going to bother to take the time to put something on TV, please take the time to say something that isn’t blatantly obvious. Give us a little insight. Something to think about. Some new information.
Example #1: A couple of weeks ago, I kept seeing an ad for some show on the Discovery Channel about guys capturing crocodiles. In this spot, one of the men shouts out the following advice, “Don’t put your fingers in the croc’s mouth!”
That sentence alone was enough to make me not want to watch the show. That’s the type of programming that will not provide me with new information. I’ve never even been near a crocodile, and yet I already know not to put my fingers in its mouth. Call it instinct.
I don’t think there’s anybody out there who was thinking, “Hmmmm, I wonder where a good place to put my fingers would be? I know! I can rest them right here in this crocodile’s mouth. What? What’s that? Oh, don’t put my fingers in the croc’s mouth? Thanks for the heads up!”
Example #2: I saw an interview with a woman who had won six million dollars in the state lottery. Who isn’t a little bit curious about what this would feel like? So, I was interested to get the inside scoop. Until the lucky lady said, “Stuff like this just doesn’t happen to me.”
Really? Because stuff like this happens to most people all the time. “What happened to you today?” “I won six million dollars in the lottery.” “Again?”
Example #3: I was flipping through the channels last week and paused on CNN. The reporter informed me that, “After two straight days of going up, today their stocks went in the opposite direction, down.”
I’m pretty sure he could have ended that sentence after the word, “direction.”
I’m not saying that everyone that watches CNN is a genius, but I’m willing to bet that most of them know what the opposite of up is. Am I the only one who read Everything I Needed to Know to Watch CNN I Learned in Kindergarten?
So, how am I going to do it? How will I obliterate the obvious? Never fear, I’m currently training a team of proof readers to unleash on the world. We’ll start with TV, double checking every script and speech to verify that none of the commentary is patently obvious (“This just in, the sun is hot”). Then we’ll move on to other forms of media, eradicating the apparent wherever we go, taking all of the obvious patter that is bad and moving it in the opposite direction…come on, you know this one…