Here’s the deal. Many thanks to Crystal who, after endlessly suffering from buffering, suggested this reader of the week topic. And a swell topic it is. Because we’ve all experienced it. We’re trying to watch some video online and up pops that familiar, white windmill…circling around endlessly…mocking us…staring right at us and innocently chirping, “Oh, were you waiting for me? Gimme a second, I just need to make a few thousand more revolutions, here.”
Meanwhile, we’re only three and a half seconds into our youtube cute cat video. That crazy kitty crawled into a boot! Cats don’t belong in shoes! That’s adorable! And I want to know what happens next!
Here’s the problem – nobody knows what buffering is. Our top scientists have been studying it for years, but it remains as elusive as….check that, turns out it’s a region of memory used to temporarily hold data while it’s being moved from one place to another. But what does that even mean? And since when did a region of memory look like a tiny, infinite series of circular dominoes?
Stop stopping my entertainment, you menacing region of memory! If I wanted a frozen image of a feline, I’d buy a poster…probably that cute one that says, “Hang in there.” Sure, people make fun of that poster, but darned if it isn’t adorable. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, that’s what I’d do if I wanted a still image of a cat – I want moving cats. More specifically, I want delightful moving cats that do ridiculously cute things, and I want them now.
One site suggested that the buffering issue could be solved by getting rid of all the cookies on my computer…why is it that the root of all my life problems is too many cookies? It’s not fair. I like cookies.
So, how am I going to do it? How will I stop buffering from ruining all of my on-line viewing experiences? Um, just wait for the video to download completely before playing…actually, that was pretty easy.