Vs. Bed, Bath & Beyond, Round Two

Posted: May 9, 2011 in Odds and Ends
Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  The new Bed, Bath & Beyond flier came in the mail this week.  I made my first effort to purge my BB&B demons here, but just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.

That’s right, it’s a whole new round of useless products that I somehow crave.  Immediately, the Solar Garden Stakes caught my eye.  For $9.99 you can buy a rod that you stick into the ground, atop of which is a fake sunflower plant that, through the miracle of solar power, lights up.  I couldn’t help but think, however, that if one wanted something that is both solar powered and looks like a sunflower, one could purchase…a sunflower.

Page 15 features the Towel Wrap.  This product is a towel with two straps sewn on so that one can wear the towel like a dress.  It’s Snuggie’s less attractive cousin.  I suppose it’s designed for all of those women who are always looking for a more absorbent dress.  Come on, who hasn’t always wanted to wear a towel around all day…oh, yeah, everybody.

Or, for the low, low price of $19.99 you can have your very own Princess Castle Play Tent.  It’s ideal for “indoor/outdoor fun.”  Perfect, I love indoor/outdoor fun.  Those are two of my favorite types of funs.  And just take a look at this photo from the flier –

 

Could that girl be having anymore indoor/outdoor fun?  She’s so happy, it really makes me want to buy myself a Princess Castle Play Tent.  Granted, the only difference between this and simply sitting in the grass, is a thin layer of pink plastic, but look at that smile.  This thing is awesome!

But my favorite, easily, is the Bananza.  Check it out –

Tired of labor-intensive banana slicing?  Working your fingers to the bone as you saw through this tropical fruit in preparation of your breakfast cereal?  Well, fret no more.  The Bananza is here!  No more one slice at a time nonsense.  Get ready for state-of-the-art banana slicing.  This handy tool can save you, literally, tens of seconds over your lifetime.

Who invented this thing?  This could be the most useless time saving device I’ve ever seen.  It probably takes more time to clean this thing afterwards than the time it saves.  Sure, I’ve had my issues with bananas, but slicing them was never the problem.  Slicing a banana has never been anyone’s problem in the history of the Universe.

So, how am I going to do it?   How will I resist the urge to buy useless products from Beyond?  Fortunately, this company is doing its darndest to help me out, by making their products increasingly ridiculous.  So, thank you, triple B – the more useless your products become, the easier it is for me to not buy them.  Except for, maybe, the Princess Castle Play Tent…dang that thing looks like indoor/outdoor fun.

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Comments
  1. Elizabeth Dodd says:

    Wow! I didn’t know about the Bananza!!!!! Who’s too lazy to cut up their fruit? Guess you know who you are.
    I have always been a purist–just peel and eat. I am with you on cleaning. All those gooey banana guts in there. It is bound to take longer to clean than to slice the banana by hand.
    And I have also found that when you add fruit to cereal, you always run out of fruit and still have a lot of cereal left. Then you either have to cut up more fruit, or eat the disappointing cereal by itself. Ruins your whole day.
    I just avoid going into BB&B altogether. That’s how I save money!

  2. heathersnyder1 says:

    I want the Princess Castle Play Tent. I HAVE GOT TO HAVE THAT TENT! That is sooo cute. I don’t want the Bananza though. It looks lame. Only cuts five slices at a time? Lame! I want one that cuts the whole bunch at once.

  3. Jennifer says:

    Oh, I can’t look at a BB & B Catalog, I immediately want to go to the store and buy everything! I got to have the Bananza even though you warned us against rapidly ripening bananas in your Vs. Bananas story. I just have to have it, then I will bring it home, use it one time, and either throw it in the trash or stash it in the back of a kitchen drawer. I’m horrible! Why do I do these things? I will turn into a Bananzaholic. You got to help me Makya McBee.

  4. angelina says:

    I have been sucked in to the twilight zone that is bed bath & beyond. I get cow eyes everytime i go in there. I just have to have a set of “as seen on tv” failures in every color

    • Makya McBee says:

      Elizabeth – May I humbly suggest that you switch up your order? That is, try adding cereal to your fruit – chop up the fruit first and then add the right amount of cereal. Problem solved. You’re welcome.
      Heather – How about we go in on a Princess Castle Play Tent together? A Princess Castle Play Tent time share. Problem solved. You’re welcome.
      Jennifer – Keep Your Receipts. That way you only have to buy one thing, say the Bananza. Then just return it for store credit and get the next item. You can use each doo-dad once and create a never-ending cycle of Beyond trade ins. Problem solved. You’re welcome.
      Angelina – I have no ida what “cow eyes” are. I guess it means that you feel like metaphorically grazing on all of the products. Regardless, I think the cow eyes seem like a much more serious issue than the shopping, I suggest you consult a physician and/or veterinarian as soon as possible. Problem solved. You’re welcome.

      • heathersnyder1 says:

        Yes, I will go in with you on a Princess Castle Play Tent time share. Or, if you want we can buy up all of the Princess Castle Play Tents. Make it a resort type community, renting them all out like time shares. That way you make more money. It’s all about the profits, and location.

  5. The Bananza looks like it’s very dangerous. I can just imagine a kid or a Mob Boss sticking someone’s fingers inside and chopping them off. What? Don’t look at me like that, I have an odd imagination. I can’t help it.

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