Vs. When You’re Watching a TV Show with Someone and They Change the Channel During a Commercial Break and, When They Flip Back to the Show You Were Watching Before, You Find That You’ve Missed Four Minutes of Important Dialogue

Posted: April 25, 2011 in Reader's Suggestion
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  Today is the first in my 176 week series, Makya McBee vs. Reader’s Suggestions.  In addition to my own pet peeves, I will now, once a week, feature one of your issues.  Please feel free to leave suggestions in the comments section at any time.  Today’s was the first grievance I received – recommended by Jennifer.

So, what’s more annoying than when you’re watching a TV show with someone and they change the channel during a commercial break and, when they flip back to the show you were watching before, you find that you’ve missed four minutes of important dialogue?

The only thing worse than that is when you’re watching a TV show with someone and they change the channel during a commercial break and, when they flip back to the show you were watching before, you find that you’ve missed five minutes of important dialogue.

Look, not everyone has gold-lined swimming pools, super-human jet-fueled robot servants or a TiVo.  Yes, the numbers are on the rise, but still less than half of all American households have a DVR.  That means most of us are watching TV the old-fashioned way – with commercials.

 

I don’t have a DVR.  And my many attempts to build myself a robot servant out of an old toaster, half a ten speed bike and some spare computer parts invariably end in a lawsuit.  Is it really my fault that my cyborg butler managed to rewire its own control board, become self-aware and declare itself supreme overlord of the local Radio Shack?  

According to the “judge” – yes.

So I’m stuck with 120 hours of community service.  And I didn’t even get my toaster back.

(P.S. Above picture courtesy of Daniel Kaplan Artwork)

Anyway, I think you can see my point…it’s really annoying when you’re watching a TV show with someone and they change the channel during a commercial break and, when they flip back to the show you were watching before, you find that you’ve missed four minutes of important dialogue.

When it comes to the remote control, those with the remote have the control.  There’s no getting around it.  And the only thing worse than a chronic surfer is the lingering commercial avoider. 

So, how am I going to do it?   How will I get over the fact that it’s really annoying when you’re watching a TV show with someone and they change the channel during a commercial break and, when they flip back to the show you were watching before, you find that you’ve missed four minutes of important dialogue?

Well, luckily for me, I don’t have this problem.  I watch TV alone…in the dark…curled up in the fetal position on the couch, nursing a two liter Dr. Pepper and wondering where it all went wrong as I numb the pain with another Saved By The Bell marathon.

But this isn’t about me.   This is about Jennifer.  May I suggest a simple battery removal?  Once you’ve located your favorite show, secretly remove the batteries from the remote.  If your TV watching partner is like most Americans, they’ll be too lazy to get up and manually change the channel.  Problem solved.  Bonus – you get to watch the commercials.  They’re useful because they recommend potential products that are available for you to purchase!

If this doesn’t work, I have some spare dialogue lying about from my many unsold screenplays.  If you miss something, try inserting: “Jonathan, I’ve told you a hundred times, the lawnmower is not a toy,” “If you’re a plumber, why are you wearing a tuxedo?” or “It’s only another forty-five minutes to Tallahassee, knit faster!”  If you need others, let me know, but these will probably fill in the gaps in most situations.

And, worst case scenario, you can always watch TV alone.  Of course, you’re never truly alone when you’re with Mark Paul Gosselaar…

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Jennifer says:

    I love it, thank you Makya for going up against this foul beast. Remote control hoggers be afraid, be very afraid.

    Love the picture of the robot.

  2. heathersnyder1 says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who hates Remote Control Hoggers!
    I also hate it when you are watching a show, then the control hogger flips through during the commercial break, starts watching a new show, completely forgetting the first show.

    I can’t watch tv that way. The two shows start running together. First I’m watching shows about cooking competitions. Then it turns out that those chefs are secretly used as killing machines for the C.I.A.?!?

    • Makya McBee says:

      I might take this to Bravo and pitch it – Top (Secret) Chef, this time they’re cooking up a little international intrigue…

      • heathersnyder1 says:

        Hey, that would be a tv show I would really watch. Maybe with the two ideas combined, I won’t have to deal with the channels being flipped to get to a better show. It would be like a Mega Show.

  3. Yes, I have the same problem here at home. I am sure that the person I shall not name (but you know who you are) will have to have carpel tunnel surgery on her thumb at some point in time. The shows flip by so fast that I can’t read what we could have seen, and sometimes she even forgets what show we were watching before the commercial! At that point, I am usually a little bit confused myself.
    By the way, there is NO cure for this illness.

    • Makya McBee says:

      No cure? Here at Makya McBee Vs. we don’t know the meaning of the words. Well, we do know what the words mean, it’s just that we refuse to accept that any situation is unfixable. We’re real go-getters and what not.

    • heathersnyder1 says:

      I have a sneaking suspicion who that person is. LOL!

  4. The Lamest says:

    Ad flicking is a fine art. Like any art you need time and experience to perfect it.

    I love nothing more then flicking during a show, my wife is all up in my face saying stuff like “You’ll miss the show click back” I know it’s too early and continue watching better ads on another Chanel then click back at the perfect time as the cross-fade from ad to program is happening. This is when I remind my wife that I am better then her and she should get me another beer….she slaps me in the face and we continue watching our show together….ah domestic bliss

  5. JamesSnyder1 says:

    I have never done this.
    OK, well maybe there is this one time when I hogged the remote…OK, I am getting professional help for this. It’s not like it’s the end of the world…I can stop this at any time. Really I’m fine.

  6. I find that if I’m watching a show I really like and someone gets an itchy finger to change the channel, I use the remote control as a projectile. Usually hitting the mark-their head. Stops the channel surfing every time.

Put yo' comments here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s