Vs. Mornings

Posted: April 4, 2011 in Behavior, Hollywood
Tags: , , , , , ,

    Here’s the deal.  I’m a night person.  I do my best writing in the wee hours.  It’s not unusual for me to stay up until the sun rises, then go to bed, and wake up in the late afternoon.  I work the freelance night shift.  And, hey, my uncle has worked the night shift most of his life – maybe it’s just in the McBee blood. 

alarm clock, bought from IKEA

Image via Wikipedia


    But for some reason, people assume that if you don’t get up early, you’re lazy.  Well, I can assure you that the fact that I do not get up early is completely unrelated to the fact that I’m lazy.  If you sleep eight hours, you sleep eight hours, whether it be from eleven to seven or six to two.  Today, for example, I got up early (1:00), went to the bank, did a load of laundry, picked up some groceries and am now sitting down to write.  I get more done before 2:30 pm than most people do…before 7:30 am.

    As a freelancer, I’m fortunate enough to be able to eke out a living on my own schedule.  When the studio heads call me (okay, it’s not the studio heads per se, but you get the idea) and ask if I can write them some outstanding lines to help them sell their new summer blockbuster, I say, “Can I write that copy at three in the morning?”  And then we laugh and laugh and laugh and schedule a lunch with Johnny Depp. 

    Okay, it’s not quite that glamorous.  If the entertainment industry were a totem pole I’d be the part buried underground.  Sure, few people know I’m there…but without me the whole thing falls over.  Actually, I’m not quite that important.  If the entertainment industry were a totem pole I’d be a guy sitting near the totem pole saying, “Hey, look, there’s a totem pole.”  Pretty cool, huh?

    But whatever small role I play, I am able to pay my bills with Hollywood money and I am able to sleep until mid-afternoon…which were my two goals in life.   

    I think what I’m trying to say is – mornings are overrated.

    I’ve seen plenty of mornings.  They’re bright and make it hard for me to get to sleep.  I’ve even had jobs in my life where I had to wake up in the morning and I don’t see what all the fuss is about.  Mornings are like snow – romanticized and seemingly full of potential, until you find yourself in the middle of them, and you just want to crawl back under your warm blankets.

    I mean, come on, we need an alarm clock to get up in the morning.  How unnatural.  An alarm clock.  I don’t need a false alarm to wake up in the afternoon.  I don’t need a pulsating siren to eject me from my slumber.  I waken after rolling over twenty-three times and finally realizing that I cannot possibly sleep any longer.  Just like nature intended.    

    And mornings are so annoyingly insistent.  Prodding you to get up.  Reminding you of where you need to be and what you need to do.  Night is so much more laid back.  It’s cool.  Doesn’t nag.  No need to rush around and do anything.  If you’re productive during the night, that’s just a bonus, baby. 

Los Angeles Visit, Photowalk, Hans Zimmer, and...

Image by Stuck in Customs via Flickr

    There’s also the homophone argument.  Morning sounds like mourning.  Night sounds like knight.  Mourning is sad.  Knights are cool.  Case closed.  

    So, how am I going to do it?   How will I defeat mornings?  Well, that’s a tricky one, because in order to battle them, I’ll have to confront them on their turf and I’m never up that early.  Plus, I need mornings, otherwise when would I rest?  Hmmm, counfounding.  I suppose the best solution here is a treaty.  I won’t mess with mornings if they don’t mess with me.

    The early bird may catch the worm…but this night owl knows that worms taste like crap and mornings suck.  So you won’t see M.M. until the pm.

  1. Kestrel Blue says:

    as much as I dont really enjoy gettin gup early, i am pretty good at it, I dont know if that makes me a morning person or not…..but i must say the part about mourning and knights had me laughing for a good 10 min and 32 seconds…so funny!!

    • Makya McBee says:

      Excellent. For safety, I test all of my jokes on lab rats before implementing them into live blogs. The homophone joke tested well, with
      the rats laughing for an average of 6 minutes 18 seconds. Am glad to hear that results were surpassed in the human population.

  2. Steve says:

    I think your wrong about folks asuming your lazy if you don’t greet the sun. They asume you are rich and decadent. Soldier on!

    • Makya McBee says:

      I’m definitely not rich, and probably not decadent. But, hopefully, this morning thing will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
      Rich and decadent – here I come.

  3. Bonnie says:

    “I hate mornings. They start so early.” – Janet Evanovich

    Love your blog. I also love that Kestral laughed for 10 minutes AND 32 seconds.

  4. Bonnie says:

    Oops, I don’t like that I just spelled Kestrel’s name incorrectly.

    • Makya McBee says:

      Yes, she’s set the record at 10 min. 32 sec., in second place is Janet Evanovich at 9 min. 17 sec. And, rounding out the top three is Lord Jeff at 8 min 43 sec.

  5. People made songs for night owls like Wilson Pickett’s “Midnight Hour” or Neil Diamond’s “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime”. Can’t think of too many morning songs besides The Beatles “Good Morning, Good Morning”.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Daytime people don’t even know what they are missing tucked away in their comfy beds at night. Just look through a telescope. There’s all kinds of constellations, meteor showers, planets, the moon, lunar eclipses, my hot, naked neighbor.

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