Here’s the deal. In my lifelong effort to get more blog comments I am proud to present the first ever Makya McBee Vs. Comment Contest Extravaganza Super Fun Time!
Before I announce the contest, I am proud to report that I received a number of lovely comments from my previous post in which I shamelessly begged people to give me a number of lovely comments. I must admit, however, that I was somewhat surprised to see how many of the comments were focused on the issue of bananas. To quote Gwen Stefani, “This sh#* is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”
Allow me to quickly address some of the excellent points raised by my readers last week…
“I was frankly expecting more content about bananas. Are you planning a follow up post to address this issue?”
“I was hoping to glean a little insight into your love or hate of bananas. Could you elaborate on your feelings toward the banana…I might one day like to send a fruit basket and I’d like to know if I should include or exclude bananas.”
I don’t know who decided that baskets filled with fruit are the ultimate gift. I can think of so many things I would prefer to have in my basket. A cash basket. A pizza basket. An Alyssa Milano basket (what? I grew up with Who’s The Boss and matured into those years of young manhood just as she was blossoming into an effervescent, nubile woman…so sue me). You know what…yeah, just include the bananas.
“You need to elaborate on your feelings toward bananas.”
No. No I don’t.
“I have discovered that in the absence of a knife and in the presence of a banana that bends instead of breaking at the stem, tearing the banana open from the bottom works just fine. I have since observed that this is also how apes regularly open bananas.”
Perhaps you should spend less time observing apes and more time shopping for cutlery.
Okay, now that we’ve taken care of the banana issues let’s get on with the contest.
1. Eligibility – The contest is open to all U.S. residents age 18 and older. (Also, it’s open to all non-U.S. residents age 17 and younger).
2. Contest Period – The Contest begins on November 18th, 2012 at 12:01 am Pacific Time and ends on November 25th, 2012 at 3:27 pm Pacific Time. (All dates, times, and really everything I’m typing is subject to change).
3. How to Enter – No purchase necessary to enter or win. But, if you think about it, you need to buy a computer or a cell phone to be able to access the internet and see this blog. Unless you go to the library. But you need to buy a car or bike to get to the library. Unless you walk. But you’ll need some shoes. So you do have to buy shoes to enter and win this contest, but other than that just do whatever you want.
Oh, yeah, how to enter the contest. Just, you know, leave a comment to this blog post.
4. Judging – All comments will be judged on the following criteria: originality, cleverness, creativity, freshness, imaginativeness, ingeniousness, innovation, inventiveness, newness, novelty, unconventionality, unorthodoxy, and use of synonmys. Additionally, comments will be judged on length, girth, font coolness, ability to incorporate the word parsley far more often than is reasonable, misuse of adverbs, and the swimsuit competition.
5. Prizes – One (1) grand prize winner will receive their choice of (a) An old California Pizza Kitchen gift card that I forgot I had that still has a balance of $3.92, (b) A personalized limerick or (c) Whatever is behind Door Number Three. Two hundred and fifty (250) second place prize winners will win absolutely nothing.
Good luck and please stop asking me about bananas.